I remember exactly what he was wearing, exactly how he smelled and exactly how my gum tasted

Yesterday was the 3 year anniversary of the day my father passed away, September 10th, 2003.

As the morning came upon me, I awoke having fond memories of childhood with my father. The years of endless and unconditional love that he provided to my 7 brothers, my sister and I. I remembered all the surprises and the happy times that can never be taken away, although he was taken to his final resting place. I could remember exactly what he was wearing, exactly how he smelled and exactly how my gum tasted.

As I got up from my slumber I began to remember how my mother and I cared for my father at home. He had requested not to be brought to a nursing home or the hospital when things got really bad. My mother and I decided to keep him at home and provide the best care we could while he was still on this earth. I remember sitting with him loving him, talking to him(even though he was in a coma, hoping he could hear) and I remember singing to him. I remember my mother bathing him and I would help her. When she was finished, she would always cover his body with baby powder. He would smell as sweet and innocent as what he truly was. As all these momories flooded through my mind I remembered exactly what he was wearing, exactly how he smelled and exactly how my gum tasted.

My father had a very horrible death. He had regained consciousness a few days before his final day. Since he was unable to eat for a few weeks at this point, he was not able to respond to us as his mind had lost its source of nourishment. He was in so much pain, he had gone to nothing but skin and bones and struggled for every breathe of air. It was the most degrading possiblity one could ever imagine for a loved one. Myself, my brother and my mother were with him when the time came. He was laying in bed with my brother holding him on his side, my mother holding a cloth to his mouth and I was holding one hand with my other hand on his chest. I watched as my hand lowered into his body with his very last breathe. I looked to my mother and then to my brother and we all sighed a sigh of relief. He as gone but he was no longer suffering. we were content to know he did not have to struggle and fight a losing battle any longer.

My brother and mother had left the room to gather themselves. My mother contacted the family to notify them of the happenings. I sat in the bed holding him and saying my last good bye. The family doctor and funeral director arrived a short time afterwards to pronounce death and take him from us. It was so hard. I can feel it as though it were yesterday. I dried my mothers tears as though it were yesterday. I miss him everyday.

Now living in the day, I prepared myself to go to our families church to light a candle and have mass to remember my father and the good times. To pray for everlasting happiness and strength for all who knew him.

As I entered the church and blessed myself, I remembered exactly what he was wearing, exactly how he smelled and exactly how my gum tasted.